Random Story - 14 Feb 2017

Earlier this morning, inside a cafe, scribbling while waiting for the rain to stop, there was a conversation between me and, let's say, someone else. A guy, perfect stranger, suddenly sat in front of me, and asked, "Why?"

Confused, I responded with, "What do you mean by why? And more importantly, who are you?"

He smirked. "It does not matter who I am. Not that important, thank you very much. As of this point, the most important thing is the big why?"

"With all respect, I..." Not a complete sentence, and he cut me off.

"Listen. Why do we exist? Why do we love each other, kill each other, comfort each other, torture each other? Do we exist for such reason? Why do I exist? Why do you exist?" He pointed his index finger, trembling, as if his body could not take an enormous flow of energy from somewhere out of this world.

"Is that all?" I asked, trying to killing time under the rain. I did not know this person, but I would like to see his responses for all chunks inside my mind.

"What do you mean by 'is that all'? Oh, boy. Are you that naive or what?" He made a double facepalm.

I showed him my right palm. "Say, imagine this is the palm of truth." Continued with my left palm. "While this is the palm of untruth." I clapped them, gently. "Now, which voice is that belong to?"

"I...uh..." He drowned in silence.

"Perhaps, the truth is, you do not really care. That's none of my concern, to be honest. 'For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction,' or that's what Newton told us. You, sir, barged in with a big why, and now, you can feel the ripples of your own question. Are you not fully prepared to drink your own medicine?"

I continued my scribbles. The waiter came. "Here's your coffee. Enjoy it while it still hot."

"Thank you," I said.

Having a conversation with voices inside my head could be an entertaining activity. That guy, you asked? He did not even exist.

The Ambiguity of Usefulness ~ 11

According to wiktionary, nihility means nothingness or nullity, while nothingness means:

- State of nonexistence; the condition of being nothing.

- Void; emptiness.

- Quality of inconsequentiality; lacking in significance.

Now, let's move to the next topic: what is the first cause? Some people do not have the answer, while some others prefer to stick with his or her firm belief / faith. At one point, I found this video:

There's a spiral of - some kind of - fear while imagining that we are born from void. While I was observing some busy people with their own activity, along with a realization that they have their own story, I unconsciously mixed all of those with a droplet of disturbance: what if all of these are not really that matter? Somehow, it annoys me to have a thought that we are a product of void. But referring to the video above, there's at least something in nothingness. In here, I can grab two kinds of statement. One, if there is something, who created that something? Two, if that something is not something, then back to the question of "how can we be here?" For me, both questions look valid. But ultimately, here's a question that I want to ask if we know what is the first cause of all of these: WHY (just simply accept that I want to fully understand the "why" before we move on to the next "what-where-when-who-how").

I believe the answer will be something useful, or not helping at all. At this point in my life, I'm pretty skeptical about the answer, so I'll go with 'probably not'. Yet, what's "not useful" for me, may turn out to be something major for someone else. If so, perhaps you need to shift your focus back to the important things that will affect your future.

The Ambiguity of Usefulness ~ 10

"It gets better." 

"Except it doesn't."

I'm not saying that positive thoughts are not good for you, but reality may, or can, or will, slap you really really hard if you are not fully prepared for worse stuffs, or the worst. I've seen some stuffs where some bad situations turn into something good, and on the other hand, turn into something worst. Literally, and not metaphorically. If you ask about the "root cause", let's say, it's a domino effect, although unpredictable. To be honest, I want to blame so-called culture. Unfortunately, some (can I say most?) of us are prisoners of our own choice. So, there you go.

What? But, how?

Let's talk about the combination of filial piety, mixed with "not-so-sure" financial planning and ambivalent marriage. It does sound like a bad situation, but it can happen (remember Murphy's law?). I remembered about someone who's financially drained by her own mother during her pregnancy. Some people said to let it go, or to treat it as a form of filial piety. Here's a thing: the financial issue is caused by personal greed. So, I really wonder if filial piety is something that important, since parents are just human. Nobody's perfect, yes? Although she and her husband seems to have a happy marriage and stable financial situation, those conditions do not stop things become better (well, a healthy baby boy), or worse (in this case, the parent-child relationship). So, in my perspective, "happily ever after" may happen in a ultra-mega-rare condition. Conclusion? Be careful using the term "filial", or, in other case, something you take for granted as a shield to cover your ass. Useful or not, things may turn upside down, even though most people agree that blood is thicker than water, since quote may not help when your fist is already clenched.

On the other hand, some people agree that the combination of "alon-alon-asal-kelakon" ("slow-but-sure") and a-marriage-with-pure-purpose is one of the true paths in order to make things better, although there's no guarantee that the journey will be a non-problematic one. Poking one of the "seven-deadly-sins" and merge it into life may be a recipe to disaster. Too many real samples for this formula, so I guess, up to now, it works just fine as long as you know the limit. I know it sounds like a method for campers (ask gamers to understand more about this term), but results are what I can see, while expectations are not something I really want to comment (a little bit, maybe). Conclusion? Some things may require a lot of time, with the additional parameter of "as long as you think that it is good for you, and also others". Again, useful or not, there's no guarantee on the transformations that you will encounter. If you see it fit, as long as the situation permits (don't forget to do risk assessment), then just try it. "You can't hurry love", sang Phil Collins.

So, what's the point of this post? Probably none, but you can think this as a note that "your way" may be suitable for others, or may not. Perhaps, there's no static formula for life as it may be useful for one group but not for the others, and there's no clear separator between useful and worthless. As an additional note, what are the differences between good and bad, and where did they come from? Were they born as products of justification? Where did all of these come from? And how? And why?

"Okay, some things get better, and some don't."

That, I can agree.