Friday, December 25, 2015

The Ambiguity of Usefulness ~ 11

According to wiktionary, nihility means nothingness or nullity, while nothingness means:
- State of nonexistence; the condition of being nothing.
- Void; emptiness.
- Quality of inconsequentiality; lacking in significance.

Now, let's move to the next topic: what is the first cause? Some people do not have the answer, while some others prefer to stick with his or her firm belief / faith. At one point, I found this video:

There's a spiral of - some kind of - fear while imagining that we are born from void. While I was observing some busy people with their own activity, along with a realization that they have their own story, I unconsciously mixed all of those with a droplet of disturbance: what if all of these are not really that matter? Somehow, it annoys me to have a thought that we are a product of void. But referring to the video above, there's at least something in nothingness. In here, I can grab two kinds of statement. One, if there is something, who created that something? Two, if that something is not something, then back to the question of "how can we be here?" For me, both questions look valid. But ultimately, here's a question that I want to ask if we know what is the first cause of all of these: WHY (just simply accept that I want to fully understand the "why" before we move on to the next "what-where-when-who-how").

I believe the answer will be something useful, or not helping at all. At this point in my life, I'm pretty skeptical about the answer, so I'll go with 'probably not'. Yet, what's "not useful" for me, may turn out to be something major for someone else. If so, perhaps you need to shift your focus back to the important things that will affect your future.

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

The Ambiguity of Usefulness ~ 10

"It gets better." 
"Except it doesn't."

I'm not saying that positive thoughts are not good for you, but reality may, or can, or will, slap you really really hard if you are not fully prepared for worse stuffs, or the worst. I've seen some stuffs where some bad situations turn into something good, and on the other hand, turn into something worst. Literally, and not metaphorically. If you ask about the "root cause", let's say, it's a domino effect, although unpredictable. To be honest, I want to blame so-called culture. Unfortunately, some (can I say most?) of us are prisoners of our own choice. So, there you go.

What? But, how?

Let's talk about the combination of filial piety, mixed with "not-so-sure" financial planning and ambivalent marriage. It does sound like a bad situation, but it can happen (remember Murphy's law?). I remembered about someone who's financially drained by her own mother during her pregnancy. Some people said to let it go, or to treat it as a form of filial piety. Here's a thing: the financial issue is caused by personal greed. So, I really wonder if filial piety is something that important, since parents are just human. Nobody's perfect, yes? Although she and her husband seems to have a happy marriage and stable financial situation, those conditions do not stop things become better (well, a healthy baby boy), or worse (in this case, the parent-child relationship). So, in my perspective, "happily ever after" may happen in a ultra-mega-rare condition. Conclusion? Be careful using the term "filial", or, in other case, something you take for granted as a shield to cover your ass. Useful or not, things may turn upside down, even though most people agree that blood is thicker than water, since quote may not help when your fist is already clenched.

On the other hand, some people agree that the combination of "alon-alon-asal-kelakon" ("slow-but-sure") and a-marriage-with-pure-purpose is one of the true paths in order to make things better, although there's no guarantee that the journey will be a non-problematic one. Poking one of the "seven-deadly-sins" and merge it into life may be a recipe to disaster. Too many real samples for this formula, so I guess, up to now, it works just fine as long as you know the limit. I know it sounds like a method for campers (ask gamers to understand more about this term), but results are what I can see, while expectations are not something I really want to comment (a little bit, maybe). Conclusion? Some things may require a lot of time, with the additional parameter of "as long as you think that it is good for you, and also others". Again, useful or not, there's no guarantee on the transformations that you will encounter. If you see it fit, as long as the situation permits (don't forget to do risk assessment), then just try it. "You can't hurry love", sang Phil Collins.

So, what's the point of this post? Probably none, but you can think this as a note that "your way" may be suitable for others, or may not. Perhaps, there's no static formula for life as it may be useful for one group but not for the others, and there's no clear separator between useful and worthless. As an additional note, what are the differences between good and bad, and where did they come from? Were they born as products of justification? Where did all of these come from? And how? And why?

"Okay, some things get better, and some don't."

That, I can agree.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Hakim Otomatis

Sebelumnya, saya ingin memberitahukan bahwa posting berikut tergolong kuno. Bukan basi, tapi sudah masuk tahap fermentasi. Ndak. Saya ndak bermaksud membedah bagaimana cara manusia menghakimi, dengan ataupun tanpa maksud untuk menyakiti pihak yang kita jatuhi penghakiman. Barangkali kita hanya kebobolan, atau hanya semacam mekanisme yang ditanamkan sejak kecil, yang mana, tanpa kita sadari, penghakiman sesaat hanya akan dianggap kentut belaka. Atau barangkali memang sengaja. Siapa yang ndak doyan jadi hakim? Atau ndak sadar? Atau keduanya? Untuk tema berikut, biarkanlah saya fokus ke hal yang paling kasat mata: fisik.

Jadi begini. Beberapa saat yang lalu, saya sempat menunjukkan foto bersama teman ke para tante saya. Dan, salah satu dari sekian para tante tersebut, langsung nyeletuk "Kok jelek amat ya? Kok ga ada yang ganteng ya?" Menurut peraturan tak tertulis, yang tua harus dihormati, meski kurang ajar. Buat saya, peraturan tak tertulis itu saya ubah sedikit: yang tua harus dihormati dalam batas tertentu. Bagi saya, nyeletuk sesekali masih belum melewati batas. Dan sebagai informasi sampingan, saya juga ada di dalam foto itu. Pret.

Berikutnya, panggung cerita saya geser sedikit. Kali ini paman saya yang, barangkali dengan maksud basa-basi, mengucap kalimat berikut: "Ven, badan kamu bagus ya sekarang." Otomatis, saya balas "Jadi, dulu saya jelek ya om?" Oops... awkward. Saya menebak barangkali paman saya mengira saya ndak akan menjawab secara sinis karena aturan tak tertulis tersebut.

Hal-hal semacam ini yang membuat saya mundur dua langkah sebelum memulai basa-basi, terutama dengan para tetua. Tapi, kalau dipikir ulang, proses mundur dua langkah itu pun bisa dikatakan sebagai awal mula profesi hakim fisik secara otomatis, meski dasar yang dipakai adalah proses mengamati. Lagipula, kalau menebak kualitas seseorang hanya berdasarkan penampilan luar, tampaknya ndak segampang dicocoti dengan ilmu deduksi ala Sherlock Holmes. Dan banyak yang doyan dengan ungkapan "don't judge a book by its cover", meski pada akhirnya ikut-ikutan melotot ketika yang seseorang yang dinilai aduhai lewat di depan mata. Standar ganda? Oh, ndak. Saya akui kalau fisik adalah hal yang paling "mudah dinilai", karena ndak butuh kemampuan macam Professor Charles Xavier. Sisanya? Terkadang, poin ini bukan hal yang mudah untuk digali ataupun dibuka secara paksa.

Jadi, kalau sampeyan menghakimi, siap-siap saja dihakimi. Ndak, jangan main bakar-bakaran. Diskusikan saja sama mereka:

Belum lagi kalau memasuki ranah "chemistry" kalau berbicara tentang mencari pasangan. Saya bisa digiling habis.